This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Back again once more is a fresh new week and for fun (sure, let's go with that,) it just so happens that today falls on Tax Day. The moment that most people dread because they are lazy or afraid that they will be taken to the cleaners comes once every year like clockwork and yet it still is an issue. Perhaps it would be less so if people had been taught how to do their taxes in school instead of being forced to remember a war that was fought over land that now looks like a barren desert. This actually works though because most of what we ended up learning in school is, for a lack of better terms, essentially worthless. On top of an education system that is not perfect and even more so archaic, the need to evolve has become more and more prevalent. This is perfectly showcased in a polled audience that showed only 52% used what they learned in school in their adult lives. All that algebra, those history lessons, those late afternoon sessions with the guidance counselor with wine ... wait what, scratch that last one. The point is we as a people evolve constantly and I'd be willing to bet most of us aren't the same person we were six months ago, let alone twenty plus years ago when we crammed textbooks into our brains. Marris attempted to showcase that lessons are useless isn't entirely true by pointing out he used geometry when he did stuff for his condo but he seems to be part of another percent. Also in this polling it was discovered that 50% of people rely on Google (not to be confused with Dr. Angi, the sister site of Google) to supplement their education. This wraps back around into Tax Day, which was not taught but definitely something that should have been learned. For Marris, his tax ability came from trial and error (that explains the debt) and his brother in college. Angi pushed past all this though to point out that an adulting crash course with tips like managing money, doing taxes, home buying and getting a mortgage is growing in popularity. So while learning how to do laundry was not taught in school (along with the aforementioned hot adulting tips,) it was revealed on WGN that there are DIY seminars that will teach you essential skills (like fixing random things in the house.) Is your toilet flooding (or magically alive like in Encanto?,) do you have issues finding a stud? (who doesn't,) or knowing where to drill in a wall? This class exists to help get you to that proper point of knowledge. Combine that with Tiktok, Youtube, DIY shows and cooking shows and you can see why 81% would take an adulting crash course. Obviously though, the real relevance of all this was that Angi has an idea for a new side hustle (so that's like #387 now.) She will teach you how to make a margarita, roll a joint and if you're really lucky, how to get a plastic bag out of your dog.
Other Stuff from Today's Show
Now, if you didn't listen this morning (you know we have a podcast, you have no excuse. This is just supplemental comedy and overly winded write ups of the show,) then you would be confused about pulling a bag out of your dog. So Angi's dogs (like their owner) are old, with the pittie being 14 and blindly crashing into 15. Over the weekend though, it seemed things might be dire because the dog puked all over the house nonstop. This was not the small little barfs but puddles to rival Angi when she drinks tequila. On top of that, the dog was making weird faces and noises which indicated that something was clearly wrong. After feeling the ick from all the vomit cleaning, Angi took a shower and Jay the Straight took the dogs into the yard to go to the bathroom. When she started pooping though (the dog, not Angi in the shower,) Jay the Straight saw something weird. Lo and behold, the answer to the puking had revealed itself, there was a plastic Jewel bag hanging out of the dog's ass. After yanking it full out, everything returned to normal but this was literal luck because eating a bag could have literally killed the dog. Marris mentioned grass hanging out of a dog but again, this was a literal Jewel bag. I mean, I know plastics are killing us but this is a bit ridiculous. The other highlight of her weekend was drunkenly ordering DoorDash and then passing out, leaving her Chick Fil A on the front porch for the rats to have until the following morning. As for Marris, he spent the lovely weather weekend being out and about and then capped it by spending 48 minutes doing his taxes yesterday. Me, I got drunk and did my yearly Couchella stream and I will say, the Deftones set did not disappoint so catch them this summer if you can.
Forward we go and smack dab in the middle lands our Daily Discussion Topic. People are gross, that is not some sort of secret so it only makes sense that we have this disgusting day (Tax Day) fitted with a stomach churning topic. Over on the socials, the current hotness is discussing gross things your partner does. The initial given example which sounded sexual enough to not seem disgusting was a woman who sucks her teabags dry (so that's what that mouth do....) Before getting to the rest of the pulled examples, we heard Angi's which was Jay the Straight leaving shaving hairs in the sink. In another bathroom related mess, he also takes his laptop into the bathroom with him so you have to imagine that the keys and screen are disgusting. As for Marris, he once dated a constant nail biter that could just not stop doing it. Backtracking through a few more examples before getting to the Request Line, one said her man picks his teeth with the point of a knife. Another man leaves his Q-Tip's everywhere. One girl bites chunks of cheese like she's a cartoon mouse. One guy forcefully gags himself while brushing his teeth to remove phlegm. Another girl almost dies eating mozzarella sticks. Another girl mixes M&M's and Skittles in the same bowl and eats them together (this is jail material imo.) Another guy lets his dog in the bed and it ends up peeing in it. Lastly, a pair of toilet terrorists with one who eats on it while another poops without closing the door. Right, I'm already disgusted so let's finish this up. Michael dated a girl who picked her nose and ate it (and now I just threw up.) Angi threw another guy she dated in college who would pop pimples in the mirror and then not clean the mirror (and I just threw up again.) Leslie was disgusted by Angi's story (who wasn't) and said her boyfriend that she moved in with doesn't flush the toilet when he poops and shows them off like they are trophies. (Sidenote: I hate everyone) Another caller whose call dropped said that when her man eats food, he swishes his mouth with whatever he is drinking, regardless if the combo works or not. Juan is a military man who found his USED condoms in the freezer because the ex would put the contents (easy work around there) of them on her face to look younger. He kind of regrets kissing her now.... If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.
Finally, in a segment apparently made for Marris, we looked at women's booty sizes. After fetching a pen, pad of paper and the digits of his credit card, Marris fired up TripAdvisor and got to work. This, of course, was also a counterbalance for our discussion last week on where to find the biggest dongs (Ecuador, here Angi and I come.) Marris wrongfully assumed Nigeria, Ghana (though Ghana was 12,) and Columbia. The number 1 was South Africa with a 41.73 inch circumference (if only I had learned math in school, oh well.) This was followed by Argentina at 2nd, Sweden at 3rd, Greece 4th, Germany 5th, Russia and Italy tied at 6th, Australia in 7th, and The Netherlands, Canada and France clearing 8, 9 and 10. Marris called a lot of this collusion but still, we can get him a FBI (Federal Booty Inspector) shirt and send him out for some field investigation. For those curious, America came in 11th with a 40 inch dump truck.
Request Wars 3.5
Theme: A KoЯn(y) Battle
Current Champion: Marris (1x)
Angi's Song Choice: “Got the Life" by KoЯn
Marris' Song Choice: "Coming Undone" by KoЯn
Winner: Marris
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: Thicken Nugget
This 30 pound ball of hair and 9Lives cat food consumption is attempting to slim down by using dog aquatic therapy. So far, the cat has lost 5 pounds in 7 weeks and they'd like to have it lose 10 more. Angi, PETA spokesperson of the year, offered that they should just give the cat Ozempic.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"That's just me being grumpy and old." - Marris